A New Diagnosis

 In 2007, I was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder after a suicide attempt. I took a 12-week disability leave from work. During that 12 weeks, I worked on scanning photos I had bought of Joan Bennett and created a website. I used Photoshop to try to make the newspaper pics clearer, and I am proud of that work. The website no longer exists, but I worked on it, and that helped me to heal.

I never felt the Bipolar diagnosis fit me that well, but the psychiatrist who diagnosed me had retired soon after. I believed him, and I just told the two psychiatrists I saw after that that I had Bipolar II. They never questioned it or looked further into my behavior and personality. But with each passing year, the more I learned about Bipolar Disorder, the more I questioned that initial diagnosis from a psychiatrist who was in the midst of retiring, winding down his practice, selling his house, and planning a move to another state.

During the great pandemic of 2020-21, I started reading about women who were diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome (high-functioning Autism). Autism presents very differently in females as opposed to the outward symptoms that males have. I could go through all the symptoms and the correlation of what I remember of my behavior from the time I was a very little girl in order to back up my statements. I can give you links to websites that explain all this if you would like to know more.

Suffice it to say, I now have a diagnosis that fits me perfectly. I am on the autism spectrum. My son and grandson are also on the spectrum. My daughter believes she is as well, but to a lesser degree. We are all high-functioning, which was always labeled as Asperger's Syndrome until recently. We are now just considered to be on the spectrum.

I am so pleased with my new diagnosis, now knowing I am not mentally ill. I am not broken.